About Our Staff!







About Us

CEO: Dan the Dog

Dan the Dog is the current CEO of our company. He has 13 Ph.D.'s from 4 different Ivy League universities and is only 4(28 in dog years). He has been the CEO for 2 years now and helped pull the company back from near bankruptcy. His goal as CEO is to, "Improve customer relations and promote a positive workplace environment". He is most well known around the office for his catch phrase, "ruff".

He is currently working on writing 6 novels and will appear on a podcast and a news station later this year.

Marketing Manager: Frannie the Flower

Frannie the Flower is the current Marketing Manager of our company. She keeps the marketing on track and works hard to improve the brand. Frannie graduated from a community college after 18 years of classes. She has an associates degree in personal fitness but claims to be a marketing professional. We aren't really sure how she got hired here, as she is incapable of speaking or communicating anything as she is a flower.

Edit: After talking with Frannie, she is apparently a distant relative of the CEO, who hired her out of pity after she applied at 37 other jobs and got turned down by every single one.

Assistant Regional Manager:Truck the Truck

Truck the Truck is our leading Assistant regional manager. He manages the assisting of the regional manager as well as restocking the coffee machine and vending machine. When he's not out pulling trailers or hauling lumber, Truck enjoys exploring nature and getting dirty.

Truck has a Ph.D. in Political Science and has worked for our company for 13 days. His goal at the company is to, "Provide humor for the whole office while inspiring everyone to do their best.

Sammie the Snail

Sammie the Snail doesn't have a title, as she doesn't actually do anything for our company. She is our mascot and the world's fastest sprinter, clocking in a top speed of 278mph.